The Last Resort! Kicking a Young Teen Out for Intolerable Behaviour

The Last Resort

I have witnessed the pain and desperation that lead parents to take extreme measures of kicking a young teen out for intolerable behaviour.

As a Parent therapist, I have witnessed the pain and desperation that lead parents to take extreme measures of kicking a young teen out for intolerable behaviour. It is a time when emotions run high, conflicts arise, and boundaries are tested. This has led to teens becoming homeless and estranged from their families and going into survival mode, compromising their morals so they can meet their basic needs for food and shelter. I know of cases, where discreditable people have exploited vulnerable young people.

Parenting is a challenging journey, especially when navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence. While this decision might feel like the last resort, it is crucial to understand the profound and lasting cost it can inflict on a teenager and family relationships.

1. Emotional Trauma: Being expelled from their home can cause deep emotional scars. Teens are still developing emotionally and rely on a sense of security and belonging from their families. Being rejected by their primary support system can lead to feelings of abandonment, low self-worth, and emotional trauma that might persist into adulthood.

2. Increased Vulnerability: Homeless or unsupported teens are at a significantly higher risk of experiencing a range of negative outcomes, including substance abuse, involvement in criminal activities, mental health issues, and exploitation. Without a stable environment, they might fall into dangerous situations with lasting consequences.

3. Interrupted Development: Adolescence is a critical period for identity formation and learning important life skills. When pushed out of the home, teens miss crucial developmental milestones. They lack the guidance and structure necessary for learning healthy coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills, hindering their ability to navigate challenges later in life.

4. Strained Relationships: While the behaviour may have strained the parent-teen relationship initially, expulsion often leads to further deterioration. Rebuilding trust and repairing the relationship becomes even more challenging once a teen has been pushed away from their family unit.

Instead of resorting to such drastic measures, here are four alternatives to consider:

1. Seek Professional Help: Consult a therapist or counsellor who specialises in adolescent behaviour. They can offer guidance and strategies to address the underlying issues causing the behavioural problems.

2. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish firm but fair boundaries with consequences for unacceptable behaviour. Consistency and communication are key in enforcing these boundaries.

3. Encourage Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and reward positive behaviours. Sometimes, focusing on what your teen is doing right can be more effective than solely highlighting their mistakes.

4. Maintain Open Communication: Create a safe space for open and honest communication. Encourage your teen to express their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment.

5. Explore Family Therapy: Engaging in family therapy sessions can help improve communication, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust within the family unit.

Every situation is unique, and as parents, it is important to approach challenging behaviours with empathy, patience, and a willingness to seek support. While it might be tempting to resort to extreme measures, the long-term repercussions of kicking a young teen out of the home can be devastating.

Blooming Families can help you navigate this challenging phase with compassion and understanding which will play a crucial role in shaping your teen's future.